To My Mother-
When we met, you were unprepared. I was unplanned. I bet your dreams for our meeting were much different in your mind. I don’t remember that day I made my entrance, but this well-loved feeling inside tells me you loved me from the start.
The photos and the memories remind me my childhood was wonderful. Times weren’t always easy and life wasn’t always pleasant, but our ride was beautiful. Our relationship grew and changed with every year. I know there were times I must have broke your heart. I know there were times I hurt you. There were also times I made you happy. I hope there were times I made you proud.
Were you scared to be my mommy? Did you wonder what you would do? Did you question what you were doing or if you were good enough? I know it was never easy. I was a pistol, a handful. I was a brat and pest. I was small and sometimes sweet. I was fragile and naive. I brought with me uncharted territory. I was a challenge and a reward. I was defiant. I was tough. I was weak. I needed you. I wanted nothing to do with you.
But I was yours. You gave me a piece of yourself when I was born. As I grow older, I see that piece of you growing in me. I am thankful every day I see more of you showing in myself. You were selfless, dedicated, nurturing and stubborn. You never gave up. You gave me your best. You made me who I am. As an adult, you are friend and confidant. You are an example. I want to be like you. Thank you seems insufficient.
I can’t imagine my life without you. I wouldn’t be me. You provided me with more than my physical needs. You taught me lessons I couldn’t learn on my own. You showed me the meaning of love. You showed me grace. You let me make my own choices and were there to support me. So many times you were there to pick up the pieces. Even when you were caught in my angry whirlwind or the focus of my teenage wrath, you loved me through it. I hope our lives grow more entwined as we continue to age and grow.
It’s amazing to me, the relationship between a mother and a daughter. From conception, there is a bond so strong it is indescribable. I didn’t choose you to be my mom, my caretaker, my guardian; God did. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb,” Psalm 139:13. I must be special because He gave me the greatest mother a girl could ask for. And if I could chose now, I would pick you.