Being a mom is the most difficult job in the world! It’s so difficult that you don’t get any sick days, no vacation, and you work extra long hours during holidays. On the other hand, it’s the most fulfilling job in the world too, which is why so many women love being mothers. Still, when you take care of your family and household, it’s easy to overlook another important ‘thing’ – yourself. While you’re trying to raise your children to be confident and happy adults, it can be easy to loose your self and at times, your sense of self as well. Here are a few important ways to keep up on your self-esteem.
Being a mom, you probably don’t have a lot of time to hit the gym for a couple of hours. Still, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have some light exercise. Going on long walks with your children is a great way to work out and improve your health. If your children are still small, you can set the pace and use a stroller, but if they want to walk, pick a destination and go for a hike at a nearby park. They will love having fun in the park, and you will be able to use that chance and play with them in fresh air. You can also find useful tips on working out together with your children, regardless of their age, and you will feel invigorated after these light workout sessions.
Dress to impress
Sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference and make you feel powerful, such as the clothes you wear. Your clothes affect the way you see yourself and the way you feel about yourself, and if you think you look good, you will be more confident and more willing to interact with other people. Put on some makeup, a bit of perfume, and wear clothes you look good in and, more importantly, feel good while wearing.
Change your diet
You don’t have to change your diet completely and get rid of all junk food and sweets, but even the slightest change will do wonders for your health, stamina, mental clarity and overall well-being. Instead of candy bars and chips, you can fill your fridge and drawers with fresh fruit, organic honey, and homemade pies. Next time when you make a pizza, instead of pizza dough use cauliflower – it’s healthy and vegan and delicious, but it will also hit the spot during a pizza craving.
It’s amazing what small changes can do for your mood and self-esteem, like showering, changing, and applying a face mask. It seems rather obvious, but people tend to forget just how good a long, hot shower can make them feel. Don’t be afraid to pamper and spoil yourself; when you feel particularly sad, take a shower, or better yet- a bath, apply face and hair masks, and moisturize your skin. These simple things will make you feel better in an instant.
Me-time is important
This is something most mommies don’t often remember, allowing themselves to become over exhausted, stressed, and way too irritated or depressed for months or even years on end. You need to work together with your partner and give each other a helping hand, so both of you can have at least a couple of hours to yourselves. If your partner is not available, call on family and friends to give you some time off. You can use your precious me-time to catch up on your sleep (new moms need their sleep, oh-so-much) or simply read a chapter of your favorite book. Also, practicing yoga and meditation can really help you deal with all that built up stress.
In many instances, women can develop baby blues, a state not so uncommon with all of the life changes that come after giving birth. If this is something you find yourself struggling through, you are not alone. Try to open up to your partner, family or a close friend to communicate and work through the struggles. If it’s a deeper issue, try a more professional approach. Practices all around the world are showing these struggles can be dealt with. Couples counseling in Sydney is a great example of a proactive approach to dealing with these matters in Australia. There are many options world wide, no matter where you live.
We-time is important too
In their desire to spare the partner, many couples try to carry too much ‘parenting weight’ alone. It’s important to be open and honest with your partner: tell them if you need help with something and talk to them openly about everything that’s bothering you. Also, try doing as many thing as possible together: organize family picnics, have movie nights with popcorn, play board games, and go on low-budget weekend trips somewhere you can all enjoy. Family time gives you a stronger bond and helps solidify everyone’s sense of belonging, safety and peace.
Couple time is also important. Find times when you can get away just the two of you, without the kids. Find things to talk about that do not involve your children in order to help build your relationship and revitalize your partnership as a couple as well as parents. Spending time with your partner can be a great way to help boost self-esteem and find a sense of peace.
Changes take time, so go slow and take baby steps on your road to self-esteem. Remember that children learn about the world through their family: parents, siblings, and friends. If you want your children to be confident and happy, you should show them how confidence and happiness looks and feels. You can’t give love and care to others if you don’t love yourself and care about yourself as well.
Isabel F. William is a consultant and lover of literature and philosophy.
She believes that sometimes it is just enough to enjoy a really good book, smooth jazz and a cup of coffee to travel somewhere else.
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